Eat the Spam

[Intro] Inbox. Feed. Porch. Pulse. Inbox. Feed. Porch. Pulse. Accept the cookies. Accept the cookies. Your account has been flagged for mediocrity. [Verse 1] Hey girl! Ping! Skin too human? Swipe! Soul too quiet? Click! Link in bio! Like! Got the protocol Got the cleanse Got the mindset in a jar Twenty-two-year-old life coach In a rental car I'm in your DMs I'm on your porch I'm the algorithm holding a tiki torch [Pre-Chorus] Verify your identity Leave your dignity Verify your identity Leave your dignity Is your face too tired? Is your lawn too green? Subscribe to the dream you've never seen One, two... One, two, three, let's GO! [Chorus] EAT THE SPAM! KISS THE CAM! Bass hit. SWIPE UP! SWIPE DOWN! WE KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE! ACCEPT THE COOKIES! EAT THE SPAM! Bass hit. BUY THE DIP AND BE THE BRAND! [Verse 2] URGENT! URGENT! Package stuck at the border! We just need a credit card To process your disorder! Got a PDF to make you rich by lunch Ships from a warehouse that doesn't exist Smart-mug subscriptions Noise-canceling thoughts We're selling the panic That everybody bought Grandma's on the phone But it's A.I. cloned: "Honey, buy the crypto, you're totally alone!" [Bridge] Unsubscribe. Error 404. Unsubscribe. Please click all the squares containing... despair. We've updated our privacy policy To include your dreams. We've optimized your silence. We've monetized... Your... Screams. [Build] Hot singles in your area! Extended warranty expired! Your package! Your password! Your mother! Sent from my iPhone! Sent from my iPhone! Sent from my— Refresh! Refresh! Refresh! DROP IT! [Final Chorus] EAT THE SPAM! KISS THE CAM! Bass hit. SWIPE UP! SWIPE DOWN! WE KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU— ACCEPT THE COOKIES! EAT THE SPAM! Bass hit. BUY THE DIP AND BE THE BRAND! [Outro] Check your inbox. Ping! Check your feed. Buzz! Check your porch. Ding-dong! Check your pulse... Sent from my iPhone. Sent from my... Silence. One satisfying "Unfollow" click.